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March 26, 2020

Why Do We Feel This Way?

Author: Michael Jette, CFP®, CLU®, ChFC®

 

For the past few weeks, my emotions have been all over the place. We introverts spend a fair amount of time processing life as it comes at us. What was this horrible feeling that was coming over me in waves? I knew it wasn’t fear or panic, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Then it hit me … I was grieving. I was moving through the stages of loss … and in that revelation I found peace. At least now I could give the feeling a name and could have peace as I move through the stages of grief. Some would call it acceptance.
 

One of the best articles we have read lately is this one by the Harvard Business Review calledThat Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief.” It has great insight into the reality that some of the hard emotions we are all feeling right now are a part of the grieving process.
 

We often associate grieving with a death of a loved one, a loss of a relationship, or a grim diagnosis, but it can also come when tragedy hasn’t struck us personally. In situations like we are in now, our grieving can be a reaction to the loss of human connection, financial distress, vocational instability, concern for at-risk loved ones, hearing about the painful situations others are going through (even complete strangers), and the unknown “what ifs” of the future.
 

These negative emotions can even be multiplied further by feeling guilty for having them! We have had clients apologize for calling us or feeling afraid. This is why we need healthy relationships that can help absorb the pain of the grieving process.
 

The Harvard Business article points out something important in all of this-
 

There is something powerful about naming this as grief. It helps us feel what’s inside of us. So many have told me in the past week, “I’m telling my coworkers I’m having a hard time,” or “I cried last night.” When you name it, you feel it and it moves through you. Emotions need motion. It’s important we acknowledge what we go through.

 

Bottom line: Major global events, like September 11th, the Great Recession, and now COVID-19, have a lasting impact on our emotions. They create a new normal in our lives, and we grieve losses. Both Ben and I desire to be more than just your financial advisors and are here as a sounding board for you as we walk together through these difficult times.

 

Mike and Ben

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